Meet Our Headmistress

Hello There!

What? Behind me you say?

Oh no you don't, you little scamps.

You come back with that gin bottle right now Mary Smith!

No, you won't catch them once they've made it to the fourth form corridor. The traps alone will probably cost you a limb. Lucky I keep a spare bottle, or two so no harm done eh?

What? No, don't worry about that! We don't allow the under twelves to drink alcohol on the premises. Good Lord no! I suspect that devious little vixen will be selling it onto one of the fourth form.

Well, it is so hard for the girls to get hold of really good flammable materials.

Drink it? Heavens no! You can see the damage it does to me! Our girls come from decent stock, they can afford better.

Drink up, I'm two ahead already. There, that hits the spot, doesn't it? Room a bit spinny? Yes I get that too, but sadly not so much these days. I find teaching a lot easier if the edges are a little blurred you know.

Now I don't know about you, but I find gin makes one a little sleepy.

Would you mind awfully popping back in a little while after my afternoon nap?

*SNORE*